I’ve made up my mind. This evening, I hereby submit to you, the reader, a glimpse into Andrew’s brain. A window, if you will, to peer through and check out what I’ve been dwelling on for a while now.
Tonight’s topic: children, their makers, and possible ego centrism.
Why do people choose to have children? (Please note that I am not planning on having kids anytime soon and that this post is merely a glimpse into my rambling mind. If you find yourself getting unnaturally happy or ragingly mad while you read, please reply to this post. This “window” into my brain is often smudgy, and you may need my help in cleaning it off.)
Children are great. I’ve always had tons of fun whenever there has been a chance to goof around with them, and I’ve even considered a career in pediatric physical therapy. Also, kids of my own are something I’ve always wanted as a part of my adult life. In analyzing my motivation lately, however, I can’t seem to come up with a good reason to have them. I can’t even figure out why anyone should ever have them. Now, this is already beginning to sound pretty harsh and hateful toward anyone who might want, or for that matter, already have children.
Don’t get me wrong; children are wonderful. What I’m trying to get at here are the moral forces that drive us to want to have children. And maybe this is all tied back into religion, genes, Darwin, and all that. I’m not sure. So, why do people feel that they should have kids? It kind of makes sense to me that way back when people had to perform very strenuous manual labor in order to obtain the resources they needed to live, it probably wasn’t that bad of an idea to have a whole bunch of offspring; you know, so you could survive. Really, though, that isn’t the case in much of the world anymore.
Genetically, it makes sense for us to reproduce; to push more of ourselves into the population, thus giving our species a better chance of survival (the ultimate goal?). I spent a bunch of my undergraduate days debating this sort of stuff with my biology classes; talking about natural selection, that Darwin guy, how ontology doesn’t recapitulate phylogeny, even how religion all fits into this (or not), etc.. But, since our planet is nearly brimming over with people, this doesn’t seem like a logical reason to have children either.
I guess there are other reasons too. Maybe rearing a child you created, helps you experience a part of life that you would not otherwise get to experience; one that would help you grow and possibly become a better person. But, is making myself a supposed “better person” worth creating a life?
I suppose, one day I’m going to feel that I want to settle down and start making a family with my wife, and that’s not so atypical. But, the crazy thing that I have difficulty wrapping my mind around is the creating of life part. I mean, in order to experience parenthood, do we need to create a person? A person who will undoubtedly have emotions, struggles, love, and a personality? That seems nuts.
Now, I can’t say that I remember, but I’m pretty sure that I didn’t ask my parents if I could be born before I came into this world. And, any sort of kid that I might manufacture along with my eventual wife sure wouldn’t ask to be produced either. So, by choosing to have a child, my wife and I would be dictating that a person come into the world and experience all that it has to offer. How can a conscious mind bare that responsibility?! Does anyone else understand where I’m coming from here?
Let’s face it:
- This world isn’t exactly in the sort of shape that can comfortably keep sustaining all of the new bodies we can throw at it.
- Adoption seems like a much more logical and sustainable way to achieve any of the child-rearing experiences I hope to acquire.
Whether to pass on a family name, make someone else happy, or by accident, it all makes me question why the heck someone should be made to go through this life and experience all of the great and crappy parts of it. The thing is, all of the reasons I’ve always wanted to have a family seem to be self-centered. It blows my mind to think that I’ve always thought of having kids because it’s just kind of the thing to do once you hit a certain age. Me, Andrew Kurtz, and my wife, Mrs. So-and-so, making a life, and a body, and a conscience, and a mind…whoa.
I’m glad my parents brought me into this world, but man, what were they thinking! I’m sure they could have spent a whole lot less money, done a whole lot more stuff together, and not had a bunch of their favorite things ruined by poop, spit-up, crayons, fire, scissors, hammers, iguanas, muddy shoes, branches, lacrosse balls, and running in the house.
So while young adults are planning out the future branches of their family tree, and figuring out which fruit, piece of nature, or rock star to name them after, I will continue to be blown away, wondering how these folks can be so happy and what their prerogatives are for making new life. Then again, I’m sure I’ll be joining them sometime within the next five to ten years of my life.
Let’s start discussing.
Please help me see the light. Andrew Jr. depends on it.
I think I’m going to go call my mom.