Comments on: Texting and Relationships http://capturedperspective.com/2009/11/04/how-texts-influence-organization-love/ "The ultimate end is that this writing and conversation will provide a better foundation for each of us to engage with and act in the unique part of the world we occupy." Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:49:23 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Peter Boumgarden http://capturedperspective.com/2009/11/04/how-texts-influence-organization-love/#comment-503 Peter Boumgarden Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:45:23 +0000 http://capturedperspective.com/?p=1285#comment-503 Hey Carrie Good points as always. I see what you are saying here, and you are probably more on target with his intended point than me :) I think Brooks sometimes makes the problem of thinking that change is bad by comparing it to previous hyper-idealized times. So, in your example, not going through parents makes the parents lose control... but do the parents always know what is best for their child... maybe, maybe not. Each new solutions brings new problems has always been my motto, but its just as bit of a problem to over-idealize the past. I do agree with his general point (or at least my reading of his general point) that cultivating an ability to juggle multiple relationships at any point in time, while a good hedging strategy, is a skill set which is somewhat misaligned with the skill sets which enable long-term relationship health. pb Hey Carrie
Good points as always. I see what you are saying here, and you are probably more on target with his intended point than me :) I think Brooks sometimes makes the problem of thinking that change is bad by comparing it to previous hyper-idealized times. So, in your example, not going through parents makes the parents lose control… but do the parents always know what is best for their child… maybe, maybe not. Each new solutions brings new problems has always been my motto, but its just as bit of a problem to over-idealize the past.

I do agree with his general point (or at least my reading of his general point) that cultivating an ability to juggle multiple relationships at any point in time, while a good hedging strategy, is a skill set which is somewhat misaligned with the skill sets which enable long-term relationship health.

pb

]]> By: Carrie http://capturedperspective.com/2009/11/04/how-texts-influence-organization-love/#comment-502 Carrie Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:29:08 +0000 http://capturedperspective.com/?p=1285#comment-502 Interesting you should comment on this piece - I read it yesterday and in some ways found it rather bizarre (as I have at other times when David Brooks has tried to analyze romantic relationships - his attempt at defending certain "types" of affairs I found a little disturbing.) I actually read his piece entirely differently. I believed his take home point is that new technologies have allowed us to by-pass certain social constructs that previously "checked" our own ability to pick a partner. For example, shortly after I got my own cell phone for the first time, my mother lamented the fact that while at home, a boyfriend would now call me on my cell phone instead of the landline at home, preventing her from having the chance to pick up the phone first and interact with said beau for a few minutes before passing the phone off to me. She quickly picked up on the change that my having a cell phone reduced her ability to "check in" on my relationships and offer an opinion as a parent. At the time, I rolled my eyes... I found this op-ed to be consistent with Brooks' other columns on the 'Individual' vs. the 'Institution', which was really the overarching theme: that by moving our relationship into the public spheres of school/work/church/family/neighborhood, we are (hopefully) provided with the "help/wisdom" to weigh whether the relationship has permament legs (and to value this assesment). Interesting you should comment on this piece – I read it yesterday and in some ways found it rather bizarre (as I have at other times when David Brooks has tried to analyze romantic relationships – his attempt at defending certain “types” of affairs I found a little disturbing.)

I actually read his piece entirely differently. I believed his take home point is that new technologies have allowed us to by-pass certain social constructs that previously “checked” our own ability to pick a partner. For example, shortly after I got my own cell phone for the first time, my mother lamented the fact that while at home, a boyfriend would now call me on my cell phone instead of the landline at home, preventing her from having the chance to pick up the phone first and interact with said beau for a few minutes before passing the phone off to me. She quickly picked up on the change that my having a cell phone reduced her ability to “check in” on my relationships and offer an opinion as a parent.
At the time, I rolled my eyes…

I found this op-ed to be consistent with Brooks’ other columns on the ‘Individual’ vs. the ‘Institution’, which was really the overarching theme: that by moving our relationship into the public spheres of school/work/church/family/neighborhood, we are (hopefully) provided with the “help/wisdom” to weigh whether the relationship has permament legs (and to value this assesment).

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